(This piece was written in response to Doll Seeks Date by Debbie Simorte)
Read your profile and babe, I’ll complete you.
You have everything I can imagine, except me.
You own a huge dream home, a motor home for travel, and a corvette for shorter trips.
You own a jet and babe, can you fly it!
You own stuff, lots of stuff, and that’s fine with me. I had stuff, lots of stuff.
Gosh, I was even married once, but she got all the stuff. I didn’t do anything wrong.
I love children, but can’t have my own. More on that later.
I had a huge extended family, horses, dogs, cats and pretty much one of every animal, and all the stuff for them, too and lived at a ranch and a beach house in Malibu. That was a long time ago when I was dumped.
I’m a really easygoing guy who supported his wife while she became a teacher, a doctor, a veterinarian and a fashion model. I’m used to being eye candy.
Most women think I’m unbelievably hot and can’t stop from undressing me with their eyes or worse. I’m way good looking and all my girlfriends say so. I’m not bragging, just telling it like it is…I’m smokin’.
I like high heels, I’ll love them as much as you’ll love them on me, and since you have thousands of them, maybe we can share them for your pleasure and mine. My ex was way uptight and wouldn’t share hers. It’s okay. That was five days ago and I’ve completely recovered from our relationship.
Like you, I enjoy food and keep it around. I AM your type. I know exactly what you mean.
How about a walk tomorrow at 3:00? I will be babysitting my little brother Tommy. I can meet you near aisle seven. I’ll be wearing a tracksuit and a gold necklace with a man symbol on it. It’s funny, you live near my ex wife. You kinda remind me of her too.
Bravo! Bravo! You guys are making me laugh, and it’s helping me get out of my seriousness regarding the online dating thing!!!
Denise, oh ye of the quick laughter whether it be about online dating or chocolate. I’m glad we made you laugh and returned the favor. Thanks for reading.
“That was five days ago…” OMG, I’m dying over here.
Debbie, thank Barbie for writing the original piece. She is such a molded plastic bad ass and reminds me of many people I know who have it all, dammit, and will always have it all, dammit. That type tends to attract men who process quickly. Five days is a lifetime for some. Oh, and best party manners, thanks for reading.
Reblogged this on Saucy Meadows Bumper Book of Fun.
You crack me up!
Melinda, thanks for reading. I wonder what you are up to and hope you are having a good week.
He’s quite the hottie. And so available. Be still my beating heart.
Do I dare to inquire whether he has an unattached uncle or father? With the gold necklace and shades?
Laura, knowing his type, I’m sure he has a hot uncle looking for someone who loves Jane Austen. Can we possibly expect less where fantasy is concerned? Thanks for reading.
I am dying anew!