The Vast and Inscrutable Imponderabilities of Life

Crow Calls

The gods of Amazon delivered my Primos Crow Call and Turkey Locator. I’ve read the directions and practiced in front of the dog. She’s vibed me for more than an hour to knock it off.

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Call stands 4″ tall (about the size of my dungeon keys). And no, it’s not a vape.

It seems every time I blow through this thing (which looks like a fattened, black whistle) that she has to get up off the couch and race into the kitchen to see if a crow has actually come inside. Her disappointment is palpable and human earplugs don’t fit her well, even when held in place with an ace bandage.

Based on these Amazon reviews, I chose the Primos product. I was particularly inspired by review #4 and bought an extra one for my purse.

Crows, just like humans, have different voices. Not only can they make bird sounds but they also imitate human voices convincingly. The whistle comes with a lifetime warranty and a warning:

“Primos game calls are so accurate you might attract other hunters, as well as game. The user of this product assumes all risk of injury in association with the use of the product.”

I consider the known predators of crows and the many implications.

The instructions for using the call are simple:

  1. Hold the barrel by the far end (?).
  2. Place mouthpiece between lips (would not have figured this out).
  3. Experiment by covering different amounts of the call mouthpiece (I think they meant barrel. Half-palming the barrel had me checking over my own shoulder to search the ceiling for corvids.)
  4. Exhale air while saying the word “CAW” (essential advice even though there’s no way to say “CAW” with something stuck in your mouth). Nonetheless, it produces a squawking noise of sufficient duration. The dog rises from couch again.

The dog and I have eaten the most popular crow treat: the Busseto Dry Salami nuggets. The chicken coop roof is covered in peanuts, a less popular treat it seems. I tried using the crow call, calling into the cool night air. This rendered the pond silent and started the rooster crowing. The dog has given up and gone to bed.

Taco gives up

A Partial Crow Dictionary

Here is a short list of crow calls. They can be combined as needed to greater effect.

Feeding Call: CAW-CAWWW, CAW-CAWWW, (pause one to two seconds and repeat 7x) means “I’ve found food”

Come Here Call: CAWWW-CAWWW-CAWWW (pause one to two seconds and repeat once.) means “come here” and is often combined with the feeding call (above.)

Sentry Call: CAWWW-CAW-CAW-CAWWW is a sentry call and alerts others to danger.

Come Back Call: CAW-CAW-CAWWW-CAWWW (often said when a crow flies by another crow) means “come back here.”

Fighting Call: If the Come Here Call doesn’t work, the Fighting Call is recommended. It is: CAWWW-CAWWW-CAW-CAW-CAWWW.

Rally Call: CAWWW-CAWWW-CAWWW-CAWWW means “hey, guys, I’ve found something (for best results deliver with enthusiasm and vigor.)

 

 

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