Welcome to my 2016 A to Z series on how to establish a meaningful minimum for social media as part of a balanced life. Over the next 26 days, I’ll take a quick look at some of the pluses and minuses of social media and how to adapt it to your own needs and plans.
Over the course of the past few years, I’ve been a member–active or otherwise–of close to one hundred Facebook groups.
About ten minutes ago, I deleted myself from all but twenty of these groups as part of a massive first pruning because, after a weekend of reading and reflection, one thing was clear to me:
I am a person who commits.
…who was not committing
…who was in fact drifting and dissipating from overcommitment, the happiness killer.
“You mean like in Fellowship of the Ring? The butter on the bread?” my friend Roslynn asked in response to my complaints.
“I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter scraped over too much bread.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
It was more like I’d scraped the butter dish and smeared a snail’s trace over my toast.
No, today I quit as commitment. It was a commitment to spend “more time with my remaining parts” i.e. the secret sisterhoods of writers which are much better haunts and light the way and raise the spirits with wonder, awe, and laughter.
To visit other blogs in the A to Z Challenge, click here:
Your parting comment left me feeling light and happy for you.
It made me feel that way too. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I was recently thinking I need to do the same thing. I haven’t yet, but I suspect it is coming. I have disability groups and writing groups, Rotary groups and Alumni groups. I need to figure out what to keep. I am active in all. The trick is to find what is most fulfilling.
YES. And for me it is to balance the types of interactions. I’ve decide to go for the quality and especially, to focus on those groups which enliven me. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I have been wrestling with some of the same things as I try and find time to write – turning off notifications on my phone has been so freeing. I realized how many interruptions in my day were unnecessary.
I hear ya’. It is amazing we get anything done with this notifications. Enjoyed your blog post yesertfday and your blog is clam and inviting. Thanks for stopping by and for commenting too.
Yes, I have done this too. I’ll admit, sometimes it feels lonely, but it isn’t. It just means the people I choose to spend my time with are the ones who really know what is going on with me, and the others are people who might remember my name. Or not.
May I just add how much I am loving your A-Z series?
Thank you for your kind words. On the loneliness, I think that led many us to find each other and what a revelation it has been to see how well and how deeply you can get to know someone through social media. It made me count my blessings realizing how many wonderful people I’ve met including you. I’m enjoying writing this series. It feel different to me somehow.
There is an authenticity to it that I love.
Huzzah for intentionality, commitment, community, and (best of all) SANITY! Well done on all points!
Thanks for reading. We need more Intentionality & Co.
THIS and THIS and THIS! (And not just because I’m quoted in it. Lol!) I love it: you quit AS commitment. I completely understand. Been looking at my own groups list this afternoon…hmm…. I, too, prefer the secret sisterhoods, the wonder, awe, and laughter.
Ya, you’re quoted in it. Yes, the secret sisterhoods are our invisibility cloak against the social media heebie jeebies. Thanks for reading, commenting, and for the butter.
Yup. It’s so easy to become over-involved, to the point where I dread any involvement at all, because it’s so overwhelming.
YES. This is why I’m refocusing and cutting back. Bad for one’s mental health. Thanks for commenting.
Yes, I know what you mean. Thanks for reading and commenting.
I came to the conclusion this past week that, much as I would like to keep trying to take courses that will help me improve my writing, I can’t keep signing up for every one that looks good and promises much. I need to commit to finishing what I’ve already started. How’s that for a commitment? So this piece hit home with me. Thank you for your transparent admission–and the wonderful way of communicating it!
Pat, I really enjoyed the piece you wrote at your blog on accountability. I have the same issue with courses and am now on zero new courses. I have a good writing discipline due to have close friends (like your walking buddy) and we blog weekly together. If you need more places for accountability, there are a few great groups I can think of, everything from small to huge. Thank you for reading and for your kind words.
We forget that pruning brings growth and fruitfulness. But later… and that’s the tricky part. We want instant results from spreading ourselves everywhere.
Being lighter, freer, and more focused is a good choice.
YES, and I remember you write such a beautiful piece about this. Can I link to that piece?? I would work well here. Lighter, freeer, more focused leaves room for all good things. Thanks for commenting.
Tonia, you can link to anything I’ve written. If I can remember what it was! Give me clues and I’ll see if I can find it for you. 😀
Thank you
Wow! I can barely manage the 8 or so that I’m in. I hope this means you have more time for resting, relaxing and reflecting, my friend.
Well, I’m not resting as much as focusing differently on my writing, emphasizing that this journey matters more than the destination. I demand to have fun! There must be time for laughing, etc. Are you doing the A to Z challenge too? Thanks of reading and commenting too.
Isn’t it freeing? I need to unsubscribe from lots of email newsletters too. Every unnecessary I eliminate frees up more time for things that matter. Great post. You always make me think.
I’m reading a book called The One Thing which is about how focusing on one thing is STILL the way to the greatest success and frankly, I’m over advice which tells me what to do unless the person giving it can prove to be a) Impartial and b) backed by scientific evidence. No more snake oil for me! Thanks for reading and such. Best to Coco and Damcat.