Hot Mama

Mama Kitty is a friend of mine. She lives in southern California with her handler. She owns a home which she shares with her human and four other cats. She likes to sleep on the best bed in the house in the land of swaying books and Santa Ana winds.

Her tail is stubby, and her eyes have dark circles below them giving her a look of Tammy Faye Baker. You kinda want to cry when you see her, and give her money. And then, she asks for cuddles. It feels religious to comply.

Her handler’s mother says of Mama Kitty, “She fell asleep with her makeup on.”

Mama Kitty is the matriarch of her home, sharing co-owner duties with Ms. R. Ms. R. says of Mama Kitty, “She is very sweet and a good mother, but she snots too much.”

Mama Kitty says of Ms. R. “Mew meow-ow, mew mew mew meow,” which roughly translates into, “the two-legged one gives us good food. We are happy beasts.” She further adds (received by text just now): mew mew meow meow mew meowooooow, meaning,” the two-legged one shoves drops down my throat which I despise.”

If you would like to donate to The Church of Delectable Cat Treats, please contact Mama Kitty at: mama.kitty@cmail.com.

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